Something about the pressure of the holidays, plus the pressure of finals, plus hubby's grandpa's death (and the whirlwind trip to the east), plus the shorter days and more darkness, and other the other stuff...I'm at the end of my rope.
We went over the state's income limit by $31 so Ladybug and Taterbug can't get state insurance. I can reapply next month. He needs to see a doctor, he was so weak this morning he could hardly walk, he made it through part of a day of school. Half an hour on the phone with the county...and we have an appointment on Wednesday, same day as my finals. I'll have to work something out, I don't know what.
Then I was told yesterday that I was "full of negative energy". Its all I can do to function right now, ask me next week how I feel, its too bad people can't understand that.
There is this song that I love
Turn me in your spiral press,
'Til my sweet juices flow, Goddess.
The wheel of the year is turning, turning,
Turning into darkness...
(yes, it is not Christian, sorry) but it helps to remind me that darkness is essential, and routine, something the Earth does each year. Maybe darkness of the heart is essential as well.
Others have said it before, and I'll say it again...it is too bad that the "joy of the season" can't be more joyful...